Every now and then, I still remember that day when I was out for a walk.
It was some time around spring of 2008.
I would go out for a walk almost every day… if not every day.
One time, I decided to go farther than I usually do. It’s not like I’d get lost anyway. It’s a quiet neighborhood. And anyone else I’d bump into would be someone who’s also out for a walk or out for a run… or maybe biking… and minding his/her own business.
When I was certain enough that walking farther was surely safe…
I decided to go even farther each day.
Until I started walking into other neighborhoods… and even attempted going to the woods all alone. I figured that there were a lot of people who walk alone there, too. It must be safe. One day, I was going to go all the way inner and deeper into the woods. But I hesitated for a long time. I remembered my sister’s stories. I was walking back and forth for probably 30 minutes… observing the people who walk all the way deeper… gauging my luck and making up my mind.
I truly wanted to go all the way…
My “protective self” must have taken over and made me walk all the way back to the main road.
Instead, I found myself taking a walk through “the other neighborhoods”. And there were quite a lot of people at that time. Lots of different kinds of people.
One of the kinds of people I crossed paths with was a couple who stood waaaay above me… they looked like giants. I was a bit amazed by the fact that they seemed to literally be double my height.
I was trying to figure out if they truly were that tall. They glanced my way as we were crossing each other’s paths… and we greeted each other with smiles.
A lot of times, whenever that happens… I always feel like I… we… know each other since forever.
I continued walking.
And savoring that moment.
And finally managed to put into words what I was truly feeling: I Could Be Myself. I Feel Welcome And Safe To Simply Be Myself.
Today…
Perhaps it was the rain…
Perhaps it was ashtavakrasana…
Though I have said earlier this year that ashtavakra is one asana that does make you say to yourself: Damn if you do, damn if you don’t. Just get down and do it.
I thought I do it a lot already.
I realized I can still be More Of Myself.
And I’m sure there’s so much of “just being me” that I can be and do.
So, here’s to #BEing... BEing Even More Of My Own True Self.
💕
